Thankful, but cautious

OK… I am feeling pressure to continue with this “thankful” theme.

Since we just completed a weekend about being “real”, then I’m struggling to put thoughts down that are less than totally honest. So here goes. I am “real-ly” thankful for this weekend. God’s Spirit was there, so very present as women shared testimonies of broken lives that have been repaired or are being repaired. I was so thankful to be a part of a church that allows people to share where they’ve really been and really are without fear of judgement or no longer being accepted. It was so very meaningful to me.

What I am continuing to feel is that I am only “real-ly” thankful for that which is good, like this wonderful weekend! I am not so thankful that the Orting school is bringing stress to my sister’s life, as well as the fact that I continue to be overwhelmed with the UN-answered prayers in my journal on her behalf. At this point, I feel that there continues to be more of those than the answered ones. Maybe, again, it’s because of the “good” factor. Meaning, that I only see good things as being answers to prayer, while the bad things are UN-answers. So here I am at the end of this wonderful weekend with friends, and beginning of new week (so I have a Monday morning attitude, I guess) , with my continued struggle to be constantly thankful. I believe that thankfulness is the most important attitude of worship that we can have. I really do. But I continue with that daily fight to say “blessed be the name of the Lord …” I want my heart to choose to say it! But you have to feel it to mean it don’t you? Brent says “no” but it seems dishonest to me.

It comes down to this: it’s a choice AND a battle. It’s both! I chose several years ago to “stick it out” with God. I decided that for me, I CHOOSE CHRIST no matter what happens to me. But that doesn’t mean that daily there is not a battle to live out that choice. I believe that the choice has been made for me and deep down I will always come back to the fact that I choose to serve God. So in a way, I chose a long time ago to ultimately say “blessed be His name.” But day-to-day circumstances detour me from that commitment at times.

Well, I am interested in your thoughts, sister bloggers. Oh yeah, I am real-ly thankful for His tender mercies this morning. They’ll be new tomorrow too.

7 thoughts on “Thankful, but cautious

  1. Sally Jo September 18, 2006 / 11:25 pm

    good thoughts mel! you are right, i have totally been thinking that only good answers are answers, while unanswered prayers are not. you captured it well… darn you! maybe the heart can say “blessed be the name of the Lord” only after the mouth says it often enough that the heart really believes it. i have never tried that. i have too chosen to stick with the Lord, I will not give up, but my enthusiasm sure is on the whane. i picture myself slogging along, head down, shoulders slumped, feet dragging, yet still moving forward, barely moving, “blessed be the Lord” barely audible from my lips. when i review my ” thankful” list, it’s all superficial. i need to rethink this.

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  2. DEWintheblogwithCOOKA September 19, 2006 / 6:01 am

    here’s a thought from your sister blogger & sister sister (heehee)…when doubts attack my thinking or circumstances are icky or answers seem few and far between i think about maybe trying to desert Him but then my heart screams out “Lord, to whom else could I go?” and i know then that i’m sticking with HIM! (ps i “borrowed” my quote from Simon Peter) What does that have to do with being thankful? i’m thankful that HE doesn’t shoooo me away when doubts and other crazy thoughts pop up in my heart. i’m thankful for His patience with me. i’m thankful for the privilege of dwelling in the secret place of the Most High. i’m thankful that He has given me the coolest sis ever! i’m thankful for laughter (…and tears.)

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  3. normalisboring (aka tanya t) September 19, 2006 / 6:03 am

    darn you twice!! hmmmm….i wonder exactly what the Lord requires of us in the area of thankfulness. are we really supposed to say “thanks God” for the family member that dies, the relative who loses their job, the marriage that ends in divorce, etc? i’m tempted to say that it’s ok to brand some things in this life as “bad” and not actually be “glad” that they’ve happened. no way will i ever be “happy” about lucas getting cancer. so maybe our thankfulness is meant to be steered toward being grateful to the Lord for His faithfulness and the amazing ways He’ll let us experience Him in the midst of icky-ness. my prayers nowadays aren’t “thank you, Lord, for leukemia.” but i have prayed “thank you Lord for showing up in the midst of leukemia and reminding me that you’re bigger.” but i still am not sure of the right perspective……

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  4. normalisboring (aka tanya t) September 19, 2006 / 6:31 am

    carol, i think you hit the nail on the head. suddenly it all seems clearer, and simple!! yay for cooka. i love you a lot.

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  5. Beth Webb September 21, 2006 / 11:01 pm

    wow. I could just sit and read the comments by you women every day and feel satisfied & thankful. I learn so much about following Christ everytime I check in…everytime I take the time to listen.So, now I finally posted…so, that you can add some of that wisdom to my world.Thanks!

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  6. Amanda September 27, 2006 / 4:00 am

    you havent posted anything in awhile mom…get on it! jeesh.

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