What is my part in helping my daughter Amanda and son (in law and in love) Erik leave us, and others, and cleave to each other?…
I believe this is a very important question for parents of married children to ask! Bruce Wilkinson says in his 25 plus years of counseling he has come to the conclusion that just about every marriage problem he has encountered has been the result of one or the other partners in a marriage being in violation of Gen 2:24, which is also repeated in the NT by Christ in Mark 10:6-8,
The verses say: “…For this cause a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
He goes on to list what or who is to be “left”. On the top of his list is parents. That would be me. He then lists how a young couple is to leave these. They are to leave parents (as well as siblings, friends, etc) in these ways: Physically Emotionally Financially Authority Security Direction
He encourages the process of leaving parents to actually begin at birth! He said it should be a slow and gradual process. It is not that the relationship between parents and their married children should be dissolved. There are great benefits to a healthy relationship with family. The goal is to get a good balance between having a healthy relationship with parents, family and friends, but not letting those relationships interfere with your personal relationship with each other.
My goal is not for Amanda to always think about “coming home”. In fact she IS home is with Erik. Even at their wedding, as she walked down the aisle with her daddy, the song that played said “It feels like home to me.” And “home” wasn’t who she was walking with but who she was walking towards! She was now making a new home … with her husband! He IS her home, wherever that may be. Even halfway across the world! 🙂
I am convinced that Brent and I play a huge part in continuing to help this happen! I want to pray for them and encourage them in the following areas:
1. Leave everyone else completely, including family and old friends of the opposite sex.
2. Remain pure sexually, which includes pornography.
3. Love for the long term…till death do you part…no turning back no matter what.
4. Live at your standard of living and not your parents or someone else’s. Learn the secret of being content.
5. Work at marital happiness…Love languages…serving…romance.
6. Forgive each other 70 times 70. Almost all affairs stem from unforgiveness.
7. Keep God in the center of your marriage. Do not allow anyone or anything but God be with you as you allow Him to mold you into one flesh.
To be continued ….