I followed in the footsteps of my mom, and as a young girl (just like she was) I said something like “Oh, I’m not going to marry a preacher.” Her daddy was a preacher, too.
As a young adult, I followed in the footsteps of my mom. 🙂 Yep, I married one.
And I can honestly say I haven’t regretted it. Well, most of the time I haven’t. The truth is I love being married to a preacher. And I really loved being the daughter of one too. And the granddaughter. Thankfully, the preachers/pastors in my life have all been the real deal.
I’m reflecting this month on my parent’s 50th anniversary of marriage/ministry.
Brent and I are close to the 25-year mark of what one might consider official ministry. He has now been a pastor for almost 25 years, although he’s been preaching since he was 15 years old. I recently read an article in which pastor’s wives were ask what they saw as their “role” as the PW. Everyone responded a little bit differently but overall there were more similar answers than I thought there would be. It was enlightening but also somewhat expected. I also thought about the fact that what pastor’s wives view as their role and what the congregations see as their role probably differ and vary as well. In fact, I’m not sure just one blog could cover all the opinions of what the church thinks on the subject. 🙂
My answer to the question, though, would combine a couple of the answers and would go something like this:
Much to my dismay, the reality is that being a pastor’s wife is automatically different than being a “regular” church member. Any politician’s wife will be sized-up often, because the politician’s job requires being in the spotlight and being assessed on “performance” pretty much during all waking hours. That extends to what his marriage is or isn’t. It’s not much different than the life of a pastor and his spouse – and family – except for the worldly aspects. But I also believe all of us as Christians have a calling to be like Christ. Therefore, how I strive to live my life should be no different than any other Christian. Do I ask myself sometimes “as a pastor’s wife should I do this?” Yes. But I hope that if I were not a pastor’s wife that I would ask myself, “As a Christian should I do this?”
Growing up in the ministry “glass house” had it’s more difficult moments for sure, as does it now. But it mostly has had some really wonderful blessings. Thankfully, my parents taught me that ministry wasn’t necessarily a plan but a People! The Family of God has very often encouraged us, served us, prayed for us, given to us, babysat for us, defended us, supported us and loved us. Today a shout out to all those in our lives who have put into practice the words of Paul: “Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who labor among you and preside over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them most highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves.”
We have been blessed to have Jesus’ words be true in our lives. While there is certainly rejection, betrayal, and criticism in the ministry (Jesus knew all that too!), we have also discovered family that has stood with us and by us in the dark times in our lives: And whoever has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much.
Yep! I’m so glad I married a preacher! 🙂