“Do you have blind spots?”
That was a question on my Twitter feed this morning. My first reaction was to think I hope not. I don’t want to have blind spots in my life. You know the ones. Those issues that others see and know that I have, but I am unable to see them or recognize they are present.
The more I pondered the question, the more I heard the voice in my head that said we all have blind spots. It was the voice of the Holy Spirit through the words of my hubby. He says this to me on many occasions. When he says it, I groan a little inside. Sure … some people do have blind spots. Just not me. I like to think of myself as a self-aware person. I know my faults. In fact, the way I see it, everyone knows my faults. 🙂 They aren’t very hidden unfortunately.
Sigh. There it is. Pride.
Even as I typed the word “unfortunately”, there is a twinge of Pharisee in me. Because I know the reality is that I’m actually thankful it is so natural for me to expose my faults to others. The truth is that I don’t really think it’s unfortunate. I think it’s the way everyone should be. Like me, of course! 🙂 The real reason I don’t want to have blind spots in my life, is because that would mean other people see some area of my life that needs work that I don’t see. That would bruise my ego.
See, I’m proud that the people that know me best know my faults. Secretly, I wear this as a button near my heart. You know the ones like “I am loved” … “I’m proud to be an American” …. “I [heart] fishing” …. Yeah those. I wear an invisible one that says “I’m not perfect and everyone knows it.” Ouch. The button is poking a little today.
So PHOOEY! Somehow I missed it. Again. In thinking that I’m so authentic – such an open book – today the Spirit impressed upon my heart once again that even my so-called authenticity is sometimes just words. Words on a blog. Words in a status. Words to my small group(s). As I’ve said before, I come from a wordy bunch of folks. “We got words”, let me tell ya!
Today, in the quietness (with God) I’m very aware that my authenticity can sometimes be a front for being real. Weird huh?
But I have to come clean. God knows my every thought and motive.
“But exhort one another each day, as long as it is called ‘Today,’ that none of you may become hardened by sin’s deception.”