
Sitting in my grandparents’ den in North Carolina the following week, I remember being on the couch beside my daddy, crying and trying to understand why we were about to bury one of the best men I knew at the young age of 59. He delighted in his children and grandchildren and nieces and nephews. I wish you could see up close his face in the first picture as he stretched out his arms to hug Carol and me. So warm. He always came bearing gifts. He played with us, built things for us (he was a great carpenter), told us the best stories, gave us big hugs, and always … always … always let us kiss him on his bald head when he greeted us. As I sat there, I finally asked Daddy the hard question: why?! Little did I even realize as a 10 year old, that in that very moment he was probably asking the same thing. You see, they were the best of friends. Papa King was his mentor … his pastor … like a daddy to him.
I admit I don’t remember exactly what he told me in that moment, but I do vividly remember how I felt. I felt loved. I felt that the God my parents believed in on the ‘good days’ was the One they trusted in on this one – a ‘bad’ one. All through those difficult days of confusion, questions, and sadness, I saw my parents trust in God’s faithfulness. I saw strength in my grandmother that could only have come from the Holy Spirit.
The memories of my Papa King are precious to me. I am thankful for some pictures and videos we have to help refresh my memory. My mom even has some old cassette tapes of my grandparents singing hymns and talking. My sister and I stayed with them in North Carolina for a week, not long before he died. It was a great week. My grandmother fixed delicious meals, as always, and Papa King told us stories, bragged on us to his church family, took us places, let us help him in his garden, and loved us like no other.
I admit that there are things I just don’t understand this side of heaven. Like why my Papa King had to die when he did. And never meet my husband, or my kids, or they meet him. But I do know this one thing: God’s grace is sufficient for seasons such as this.
All those shades of grace … even the shades in death.